I’m almost certain that the only thing I’ve really learned from working here is how generally lonely people are. A young woman came down from her unit at 1:30 in the morning, handed me a cup of coffee, sat and talked with me about aspirations and dreams for roughly 30 minutes. About half way through my cup of coarse ground french roast, she began to weep. Frankly, I’m not the...
To be perfectly frank, attempting to find a job in Seattle is a cluster-fuck. I’m about 23 pages in to Never Let Me Go and pretty much ready to let it go. I need to be more charming. I need to complain less. I need to have fun more. I wish I could have fun more. I’m tired of my schedule. I don’t know how candid I should be in this stupid thing. *Placed in all caps for...
There is a woman here who can not walk in high heals properly. This is funny.
A List Of Impossible Possibilities!
I could be: Out with friends and various other people I care about more than the rich and/or drunk fucktards I have to deal with while working the graveyard shift on a FUCKING SATURDAY NIGHT! Eating cupcakes. (See above). Attempting to seduce women (unsuccessfully). Drunk. Visiting my grandmother. At home. Walking the hound. Walking with my friends. Walking by myself. SLEEPING. ...
Phoenix Jones is a fucking joke.– Me (circa 2012)
Quite certain this is a bad idea.– Me (circa: 2012)
Pre-Hell / Night One
Tonight is a night of firsts! The first night I’ve ever consumed the bile inducing chemical mish-mash that is Five Hour Energy. The first night I exhaust myself from 11:00pm to 7:00am, and the first night I journey into (*pause, take deep breath*) the fetid depths of the universally undesired and socially reprehensible realm of the graveyard shift. But you know what, it don’t matter; I need...