Pre-Hell / Night One

Tonight is a night of firsts! The first night I’ve ever consumed the bile inducing chemical mish-mash that is Five Hour Energy. The first night I exhaust myself from 11:00pm to 7:00am, and the first night I journey into (*pause, take deep breath*) the fetid depths of the universally undesired and socially reprehensible realm of the graveyard shift. But you know what, it don’t matter; I need the money to move out of my parent’s house.

As much as I love free cereal and subtle yet unnervingly direct passive aggression (both products of living with the folks), it is time for me to kick proverbial rocks. So because of this simple fact, I sacrifice both my beloved sleep schedule and my already lackluster social life (see: lives at home) for the next few weeks.

What will come of this I don’t know, but I’ll sure as hell do my best to scribe anything and everything significant that happens in this space. Before I go any further though, it should be noted that this post will probably be the first and only thing I contribute to this quasi-journal, as while writing this I already find myself looking at the clock wondering how much precious time this could possibly devour. But that tentative albeit almost certainly honest note aside, as mentioned above, I will do my best to journal the boring and possibly un-boring shit that happens at night, in a condo lobby, in the Pacific Northwest, the best I possibly can.

Thank you for coming along with me on this quest and allow me to warn you, I can say that without any doubt or quiver in my shambled cyber voice, no good will come from this.